Helpers and healers are notoriously bad about being able to receive. Giving – they’re all over that. Nurturing – no one better. But being able to ask for help, let alone accept a kindness – that’s a challenge.

Maybe it would help to know that by asking for help you are almost certain to learn a something new and that will help your clients. You expand your knowledge base when you ask for help. You build community. You allow yourself to feel uplifted and energized – and that’s good for everyone in your life.

A strong sense of community emerges and we’re starting to see how collaborative friendships (doesn’t this sound better than strategic alliances?) help everyone.

When you’re uncertain of your next step, consider reaching out to your community to ask for feedback, advice, ideas and suggestions. Consider asking for help. If you’re a helper or healer you may be shocked at the overwhelming response you get after years of uplifting others.

Let me know how it works out!

The real bear is that this actually is a great time to jump in and get some extra training because you have the time. The problem – the money. Training courses, workshops and retreats can be pretty pricey.

Instead of doing a search online for training, I suggest you check out what’s available in and around your town. It’s a great way to make friends and get involved in your community which in turn can be very good for your business.

The Small Business Administration is a great place to start. They offer classes, books and workshops that can really help you get things moving again. Check online to see if there is a SBA chapter near you.

You might also visit your local Chamber of Commerce to see if it’s a good fit for you. Tell them what you’re looking for and ask what they have that might help you reach your goals. Many chambers have mentoring available, leads groups, business events and even classes to help you with your business.

The library is probably the most under-utilized resource out there. Stop by, have a chat with the librarian and ask about books but also ask if they have ideas of other places in the community where you could find great ideas and help.

Your local Community College and Community Recreation Center both may have some amazing classes on business development, marketing and advertising.

And it doesn’t hurt to get out into the world and just do your life. Do the things you love to do, meet people and tell them what you do. It’s a great way to get a referral based business off the ground.

At times, hiring a consultant to help you is a great idea. It can help you get a laser-focus on your business, provide you with immediate answers to specific questions and move you forward – often at quantum speed.

But in the mean-time, there are resources you can access that can help you connect with your community while growing your business.

Enjoy the journey!

Pull your list out right now and take a look at it. Is there anything on the list that you look forward to doing? Is it filled with things that inspire you?

If not, perhaps you need a new list!

I was doing this exercise with a client the other day and they realized everything on their marketing “to do” list was boring, tedious, draining or frustrating. But they felt sure they really needed to do each thing on their list.

Their day consisted of waking up to a loud alarm clock so they could complete as much of this exhausting list as possible until it was time to go back to bed – usually too late where they would worry themselves to sleep and then not get enough rest … only to start the same thing all over again the next morning.

This is NOT the stuff of life. And as the John Mellencamp song reminds us – your life is NOW.

I suggested that my client allow herself to wake up to quiet music or soft light or some other way that was more gentle than a blaring alarm. Then I suggested that she lay in bed for just a few minutes to focus on the day ahead.

In that precious few minutes, I asked her to think about how she wanted to feel at the end of the day. What would she feel happy about accomplishing? What would make her day fulfilling?

And I suggested she consider what inspired her throughout the day. What made her feel like she was in the flow of life.

Your “to do” list can come from this place of inspiration and fulfillment, making it not only more enjoyable but also more “do-able” – leaving more time to sleep restfully and less likely to be consumed with worry.

There were still a few things on her list that needed to be done but she didn’t want to do. Some of them were delegated and for other jobs she hired some help.

You’re the only one who knows how to make your “to do” list work best for you, but perhaps its time to tune into your intuition and see how you can feel more in the flow of life.

How do you feel when you go out of your comfort zone? You probably feel UN-comfortable, uneasy, up tight, out of your element. How attractive is that?

People tend to buy from those they know, like and trust. When you’re uncomfortable, it’s harder to get your message across, it’s more difficult to be likable and it’s really hard to focus on building trust. At that moment, you’re more concerned with survival!

When I work with clients, my biggest concern is learning as much as I can about their strengths and weaknesses so I can help them stay in their comfort zone when they market. From that place, you are most at ease and you are your most attractive.

Think about how you are most comfortable. Are you an introvert or extrovert? Do you like working with people 1:1 or in groups? Are you a natural teacher or more of a follower? Do you like to write, lecture, chat on the phone?

Our culture is so focused on self-improvement. We see this with new year’s resolutions. We’re conditioned to see what’s wrong with us instead of what’s right. But that’s another blog…

Bottom line: Focus on your strengths and build from there. You do not have to leap out of your comfort zone to market effectively.

Successful risk takers have a formula and a few tricks up their sleeve.

First, consider what your instincts are telling you. In Malcolm Gladwell’s book “Blink” the author explains that we often know immediately whether something is a good or bad idea – and how we’re usually right. The first step to taking the right risk is to tune into your instincts and learn to trust them.

Next, balance your instincts with reality and common sense. While it might be the best decision to go into debt to start your own business, if you’re on the verge of losing your house, it may be best to shelf the business until things are more stable. This is the difference between a leaping before you look and a calculated risk.

Third, remember that a little risk taking goes a long way. The most successful people balance their instincts with common sense, take the risk and then work hard to get where they want to go.

There is something magical and empowering about risk taking, but too often people feel if they take risk after risk, everything will just sort of work out. People who take risks successfully tend to be confident and believe that taking the right risk and working hard will result in getting to where they want to go. They are tenacious.

Finally, in my book “Unlocking the Secrets of the Successful Career Seeker” I talk about how important it is to practice risk taking. Start small so you can test what works and doesn’t work for you. Sometimes people will take a huge risk the first time out, see it end in disaster and then never take another risk – staying stuck in a life they don’t want.

Why not get started right now? Think of a baby step you can take – something that will move you one step closer to your goal but won’t be too big of a problem if it doesn’t work out? And let me know how it works out!

Thanksgiving isn’t universal and Hanukkah comes early this year. So if you send a holiday card December 15th, it still looks like a “Christmas” card simply because of WHEN you send it. Of course, you can wait until New Year’s but then people can feel like it’s an after-thought.

Sending a card specific to a certain holiday can be off-putting to some. And even referring to a feeling of gratitude indicates a specific belief. So what’s the solution?

Good business is all about deepening our relationships with those we work with. And the way we do that is by showing how our values align with the values of those we work with. Allowing people to really know who we are can help create strong bonds.

My client Rachel asked me about this the other day. She pondered, “If I value my faith deeply and want people to know that I celebrate Hanukkah this time of year, should I send out a card that is a clear representation of my faith?”

I suggested that while some people see that as simply an expression of what she believes, others can feel it’s pushy – assuming that they celebrate the same holiday she does.

Instead, I suggested Rachel send a generic card and include a story.

Stories provide a connection and even if someone has a different belief, they can relate to you through those feelings evoked in your story. It ties them back to a time when they felt the same way.

It’s even better if your story ties into your work. As a marketing strategist, I help people overcome challenges with getting the word out about their business. So I might share a story about a mentor who sent me a Christmas poem that helped me push by a challenge.

Rachel is a healer and she shared her story with me. Her Jewish grandmother was in Poland during WWII and as a nurse, she tended to people during a time when it was nearly impossible to find medical help.

Rachel told me that one day as a teen-ager she was foraging around in the attic and found her grandmother’s notes on healing. She sat down with her mother who explained that her grandmother had disappeared in Poland towards the end of the war. No one knows what happened to her.

That is what inspired Rachel to be a healer and she when she uses her grandmother’s notes, she feels her grandmother lives on.

THAT is a powerful story and I gave her a resounding “YES!” when she asked if it was okay.

Even if people don’t celebrate the same holiday, this story will draw people closer to Rachel because she’s letting them get to know her more deeply. It also tells them how seriously she takes her work and that she can help them by utilizing healing modalities that have stood the test of time.

However you celebrate this season, I would like to wish you the most joyous and prosperous December.

A common theme among procrastinators is the desire for perfection. People often procrastinate because they’re worried about doing something wrong. They want to do a good job the first time out, but they can’t do a good job until they practice a few times. So they’re stuck in a really miserable place.

The solution: Baby steps. Psychologists call it desensitization.

Procrastinators who are perfectionists tend to work themselves up to taking on some huge project to prove something to themselves. This only augments the misery, making it much worse. And then, the guilt and self-criticism really takes off.

Instead of sabotaging yourself in this way, choose something small.

Here’s an exercise that can help.

Create a list of all the things you’ve been putting off. It’s best if you put this in a journal so you can easily find it again. Scraps of paper can easily become misplaced and then it’s really hard to get started!

Once you have a few things on your list, take a look. Think about how it would feel to move forward with item #1. On a scale of 1 – 10, how much discomfort comes up for you? Write that number next to item #1. Continue with this through your list and take breaks whenever necessary. (Use the scale in a way that makes sense to you. 1 can indicate the most or least discomfort.)

Next, pull out your calendar. Find a day – once each month – to address things on your list. It can be just a couple of hours or all day or an entire weekend. When that time rolls around, pull out your list and take a look. Find something that weighs in as “not that uncomfortable” and something that looks manageable. Get everything you need together and jump in to get started.

Regardless of how much you do, take time to celebrate. Perfectionists often struggle with seeing what they’ve already done – opting instead to beat themselves up for what didn’t go right or for things they haven’t yet finished. No wonder you put things off! It’s like you’re punished every time you take a step forward!

So give yourself a pat on the back when you head in the right direction.

And instead of thinking about how hard it is to get started, consider how great it will feel when you’ve finished the job.

If nothing on your list appeals to you, it’s time to consider if you’ve got too many shoulds and have to’s on your list. If so, it may be time to pare those down. What can you delegate or let go of? What are some things on your list that you think you “should” do but you don’t really need to do?

The best list, of course, is one filled with things you enjoy doing. When everything on your list is something you look forward to doing, procrastination becomes a thing of the past.

Procrastinators struggle, I believe, because they’re often perfectionists but also because their lives are overflowing with things they don’t want to do. When you feel like you need to do everything perfectly, you can’t do much before life starts to feel completely overwhelming.

So pull out your “to do” list. If you don’t have one, make one up – write down all the things you need to do, all the things you think you should do and everything you feel is expected of you. Let it flow. Try to think of 100 things.

Now, go back over the list – quickly – and circle those things that inspire you. What do you want to do? If nothing stands out, add some things. What would you enjoy doing? How do you want to spend your time?

Look over your list again and get in touch with the feeling. How do you feel about each thing on that list? What would happen if you delegated or crossed off any items that drained your energy?

Right about now, the self-critical voice in your head is saying that’s impossible. It’s not.

In fact, the people who make the most money in their respective fields, who are the happiest in their lives and the most successful in their relationships do the things they love to do.

A lot of procrastinators are perfectionists. They feel that those who earn the most do the most perfect work. That can be true in certain fields, but in the vast scheme of things, the people who earn the most money and enjoy their jobs the most are intimately familiar with doing things “good enough.”

The time it takes to get from good enough to perfect is about ten times what it takes to go from start to good enough. And the real bear is that while it may feel just about perfect to the perfectionist, to others, the difference between good enough and perfect is not particularly noticeable.

Take a day – just one day – to do whatever you feel inspired to do and see how it goes. You may fear that you’ll lay on the couch all day. That’s unlikely to happen, but if it does, perhaps that’s just what you needed.

Most people who do this exercise find that they get done exactly what needs to get done and at the end of the day, they feel great.

Give it a try and then e-mail me to tell me how it turns out.

If you want to stop procrastinating once and for all, check out my LIVE learning pod – “The Underappreciated Art of Procrastination.” You’ll learn what your procrastination habit is trying to tell you and how to turn it around from self-sabotage to outrageous success.

That inner compass is your intuition and it tells you when you’re on the right track and when you’re headed in a direction that isn’t going to help you get to where you want to be. When we procrastinate, it’s often that inner guidance coming online to help us out but we’ve been trained to believe that it’s actually a weakness on our part – laziness or an unwillingness to do what we should. And so we find ourselves asking “What’s wrong with me?”

This past week I was reading Patricia Lynn Reilly’s book “Be Full of Yourself!” where she explores this question in depth. It made me consider how often we talk to ourselves in this unproductive and damaging way.

Instead of asking “what’s wrong with me?” think about what’s going on that’s causing you to procrastinate. What’s at the root of it? What is your intuition telling you?

Sometimes you’ll have something on your list for weeks and you’ll beat yourself over not getting it done. Then later on you’ll find that list and realize that those things were completely unnecessary or that if you’d followed that path, you wouldn’t be going the right way. Something you thought you “should” do may not be a good fit for you and somewhere inside you know that.

Take a few minutes to take a breath and tune in – go inside for the answers.

Calling ourselves names keeps us stuck, unproductive and in the victim mindset. It can be painful to move from this place into taking responsibility, but it is such a power position. We are immediately able to change our course and chart a new one.

By tapping into the answers within – knowing why we procrastinate – we leave with at least the beginning of a new way of thinking. By asking “why?” we can more easily get to “what next?” and from there we can paint a new picture for ourselves.

Procrastinating can damage your relationships, make you feel pretty crummy about yourself and impact your business negatively.

There are the obvious problems – you don’t pay your bills on time and your credit rating slips or you put off finding an office space and you lose clients. But there are other less obvious ways that procrastination can creep in and wreak havoc on your business.

One of the biggest things that business people put off is learning something new. And we beat ourselves up mercilessly for it.

Instead, tune into your intuition. What’s it telling you? You probably do like to learn all sorts of new things when the topic is of interest to you. You just don’t like learning things that are boring to you. So ask yourself – “What does this new information mean?” How can you work with what you’re learning so you can move forward? Brainstorm the solutions.

Do you really need to learn this or is it a should? If you need to learn it, is there an easier way to go about it – some sort of Cliff Notes option? Could someone else learn it and translate it for you? Do you need a class where it’s explained to you – or do you work better by actually trying things yourself?

Don’t be afraid to ask for help from people you need – either to have them help you brainstorm or to get to the end goal.

In the current economy, we’re almost afraid to reach out because we feel people are dealing with so much already, but the truth is that people like to feel needed and appreciated. Reaching out and offering an opportunity to feel needed, to do meaningful work and to help out can be just what a friend needs to feel uplifted.

Now more than ever it’s important for us to network with one another, to collaborate and help each other out because the real cost of procrastination is truly quite high.

For more on procrastination click here.

If you’re calling yourself names or beating up on yourself, quitting with that should be at the top of your to do list!

When we say we procrastinate, it keeps us stuck. But when we can reframe procrastination as something else, we can move forward. That’s why a little digging is a good thing.

Next time you find yourself putting something off, ask yourself why you’re putting it off. What’s going on that you don’t want to do – whatever it is?

There are five reasons why people procrastinate. One of the most common reasons is that people don’t want to do something they feel they “should” do.

The whole “should” thing plays big in the procrastination field. It is loaded with emotions – really like a minefield of drama. In some it triggers the rebel – they won’t do it just because they should. Others feel guilty or put upon or victimized. Other people use it to beat up on themselves. We get addicted to these patterns and they’re so hard to escape.

But when you’re ready, anytime you’re putting something off that you feel you “should” do, you have some choices. One choice is to investigate if it really is something that needs to be done. Maybe it’s just someone else’s stuff. What would happen if you just took it off your list?

“Should” is probably the main cause people procrastinate. Often, shoulds are based on perceptions we have that aren’t even accurate. People will contort their entire lives to reflect someone else’s shoulds and the really sad thing is when they check that “should” out after finishing 12 years of medical school or they break up the love of their life because they thought the family wouldn’t approve and they learn that comment mom made in 8th grade about how much she admired doctors was really because of that ad Marcus Welby did. Or they find out dad doesn’t care a wit if you’re dating someone of a different race – or the same gender!

Yes, “shoulds” can ruin our entire lives. It’s the thing that makes us cringe when we watch movies and the main characters never quite get what they want because of assumptions.

In this situation, procrastination is your instincts telling you something is off. Tune in! Listen to what you’re telling yourself and you’ll likely find the answer. Perhaps your instincts are telling you to check things out to confirm your assumption or maybe you’re hearing you just need to wait a bit. Whatever is going on, if you can reframe procrastination as waiting until the time is right, it no longer becomes procrastination.

When we say we’re procrastinating, we’re putting ourselves down. When we’re waiting for the right time, we’re discerning. It may seem like a subtle distinction, but energetically it’s a huge difference. Procrastinating is draining. Discerning puts us into a powerful place where we are making a choice.

So next time you find yourself telling yourself “I really should…” – dig into it and learn more before moving forward.

And if you’d like to learn more about the other reasons we procrastinate and what we can do to move forward, click here.

Your business cards are perfect, the website it up, you attend networking meetings like crazy and you’re reading all the latest marketing books. And still…clients aren’t exactly beating down your door.

So what’s wrong? If you’re like most people, you have a hard time with the follow up. It’s hard to keep track of it all and a little intimidating to reach out to people. What if they’re not interested? What if they don’t want to be bothered? What if they feel you’re just spamming them?

Lay those fears aside because when you build relationships with people and are genuinely interested in them, you will rarely get people who feel you’re spamming them unless you send way too many sales-focused notes to them.

Intention is key. Are you just wanting to make a sale – seeing a mental cash register ringing up what you’re making? Or are you excited about helping an ideal client? Do you see the one interaction and think about how you can convince this person to buy or are you more anxious to share the insights that come up for you to help them?

It’s okay to make a decent living. It’s okay to make more than a decent living and to do quite well with your business. But the only way to get there with integrity is to value and respect your clients. So, get into the right mindset. And if you can’t get excited about what your client is doing or about working with them, you may want to rethink your business structure.

Once you’ve spoken with a potential client and gotten their business card, if you wait for them to call, you may wind up a very lonely salesperson! Instead, be pro-active and contact them first.

To avoid seeming overly salesy, when you reach out to people you’ve just met, instead of trying to make a sale right away, send them a card to say it was nice chatting with them. Give them a call to action – “I’d love to hear more about your business” or “You mentioned a book you’re reading. Could you please e-mail the name to me – it sounded fascinating.” You’re not making a sale right now, but instead, getting to know them to see if they’d be a good professional fit for you. They’re probably doing the same thing with you!

Make a note in your calendar to follow up at least once a quarter. In those follow ups, send an article you feel might be of interest to them, a book or resource like a web site. Tell them about something that you offer that may be of interest to them too. For example, I might say – “I remember you mentioned procrastination was slowing you down. I’m offering a class on that next month. Here’s the link where you can learn more: www.aricialafrance.com/small-group-learning-pods.htm And if you have any questions, give me a call.”

If it’s a client you feel you’d like to work with (and they’re local) offer to take them out for coffee so you can get to know more about them. Spend most of your time listening and learning about their likes and dislikes. If they’re not local, send them a tea bag or some coffee with a mug – tell them you’d love to get together (virtually) to chat.

The follow up is so essential because most people don’t make a purchase on their first interaction with you – especially if you’re talking about something that requires a true investment. They need to get to know you in order to trust you and work with you. The only way to do that is to begin building a relationship.

A good way to annoy people is to focus solely on building your Facebook and Twitter numbers and then blasting everyone with sales pitches. Instead, consider building your list consciously – visiting friends and really connecting with them. Get to know them and then offer supportive comments. Pay attention to what resonates for you – what’s interesting to you about what they are saying? Where do you see yourself truly connecting with them? How are you able to help them? Focus on that. As the relationship is more firmly established, you can share what you do.

A solid referral-based business is built on the foundation of relationships and follow up is where it all starts. We’re moving more and more into a time where your clients want to know who you are and what you’re about before doing business with you. It will probably take a number of interactions over time to make a sale in this way, but when you offer a quality service or product, you’ll have a client for life.